Getting on my high horse for the Melbourne Cup

The Melbourne Cup is upon us.

It is Australia’s Greatest Race (except most of us can’t remember who won last year), and it’s the race that┬ástops the Nation (except for the 80% of the country who don’t get a public holiday).

More people cared about these horses than the Melbourne Cup, anyway.

This year I’ve decided that, apart from entering a casual $2 sweep among friends, I’m not going to bet on the Cup.

*Cue gasps from the marketing teams at the 212981 Sportsbetting Apps on the market*

Now, I don’t have a problem with someone gambling within their means. It’s your money to (probably) lose.

And all she did was install two betting Apps…

But usually that’s gambling on the outcome of a footy match… or a cricket match… or a ball spinning on a roulette wheel…

The Melbourne Cup involves horses.

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An Open Letter to George R.R. Martin: Please kill Khaleesi

Dear George R.R. Martin,

I want you to kill Khaleesi.

Kill her, George.

Kill her, and don’t have her come back. No resurrection, please.

Because the series will be so much more INTERESTING once she’s gone.

You see, George, the “Endgame” of the series is what fascinates me most.

Sure, the plots and machinations that take us there are interesting, the history and character developments are interesting…

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If every AFL team was a Game of Thrones character

With Season 7 of Game of Thrones nearly upon us, it’s time to ask the obvious questions:

1. What will happen when Daenerys gets to Westeros?
2. How will Jon Snow manage his new role as King in the North?
3. How crazy can Cersei get with her back to the wall and enemies closing in?
4. How can we work AFL into a Game of Thrones discussion?

Also when can we get some more of this badass?

Well, don’t worry… here at Mike or The Don, we’ve got Question 4 covered…
ADELAIDE CROWS
The Adelaide Crows are Daenerys Targaryen. They’re currently in the lead and looking strong, they have had to travel a lot, and they’ve both overcome the loss of their most accomplished knight (Patrick Dangerfield or Barristan Selmy). They’re willing to rip the odd heart out to get what they want.

Would be willing to eat Port Adelaide’s still-beating heart.

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Exclusive Interview with AFL Rules Committee Member

Mike or The Don has secured a Top-Secret interview with an anonymous member of the AFL’s “Laws of the Game” Committee to discuss the many controversies around recent AFL rule changes.

More contentious than the Australian Constitution

Full Disclosure: He was paid half a Nutella Donut and a small bottle of Sprite for the interview, which may or may not be entirely made up.

To protect his identity, we’ll call him “Barry McRuleFace”

 

So, Barry McRuleFace, thanks for joining us.

No problem.

So you’ve probably heard the complaints about the rule changes?

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Bring on AFL 2017!

The AFL season is upon us. There is a lot to look forward to, such as:

The resurrection – finally – of the Essendon Football Club.

Thank every deity you can name, folks, we made it. We bloody made it.

Half a decade after the whole debacle actually took place, the Bombers are once again playing for Premiership points with a full side and without a cloud hanging over their heads.

Despite the very best efforts of the Herald Sun to keep this saga alive, most sane AFL fans will just be happy to either cheer or jeer the Bombers for what’s happening on the MCG instead of the courtroom.

"Dammit! We'll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!" -- Herald Sun Editor

“Dammit! We’ll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!” — Herald Sun Editor

Sure, they’ll be booed and sledged and teased and mocked by some fans and some opponents, and there are serious ongoing issues concerning James Hird, but in practical sporting terms the Club and the League can close the whole damn chapter.

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