Only the NBA can Make America Great Again

Remember when the USA used to be awesome?

They put men on the moon. The cured disease. They were cultural leaders. They were a moral beacon for the rest of the world to follow. They were led by the best and brightest. They flexed their military strength only when necessary, and enemies fled before the might of the US Armed Forces.


From a simpler time


Not so much.

Instead of putting men on the moon… they believe the earth is 6,000 years old, flat, and their politicians appear proudly ignorant.

Apparently this is how it works…


Instead of curing disease… they actually argue about whether babies in poor families deserve the same healthcare as babies in rich families.

Instead of leading us culturally… they outsource cultural leadership to other parts of the world.

Where the Greatest Piece of Culture of our generation is from.

Instead of being a moral beacon for the world to follow… they watch school children being massacred by maniacs, shrug their shoulders, and buy more ammo.

(I refuse to post a cheeky, humorous image or YouTube link for the Sandy Hook Massacre… It was the day I realised the United States is broken and they should all feel Goddamn ashamed about the way nothing changed afterwards.)

Instead of being led by the best and brightest… their broken version of democracy elected a quite-obviously extremely unintelligent reality TV host.

No, Jeff Probst of Survivor… not you

Instead of the world trembling before the might of US Forces… they’ve just chalked up two straight Ls, and we’re currently on the precipice of global nuclear war because the US can’t control one of the poorest countries on earth.

And they’re led by THIS man…


All the USA has left is the NBA.

The NBA represents the last flickering light of the USA’s status as a world leader.

Whatever else about the USA, they still have LeBron and Steph and Russ and Giannis and DeMarcus and Delly.

A Greek Kid and an Aussie Kid are unquestionably the NBA’s two brightest stars.

It is effectively the only area in which they still truly lead the world.

So we need the NBA to run all year round.

Because until we can get the old version of the USA back, we need that flickering flame of the “USA is a Superpower” ideal to remain alive.

Just don’t let the flame anywhere near this thing… they get angry for some reason.

The NBA is all that’s left to remind us how brightly the USA can shine, when it is allowed to do so.

That flame is virtually extinguished. We want it back and roaring.

So give the damn ball to Russell Westbrook, clear out for an ISO, and let’s Make America Great Again.

U – S – A!
U – S – A!


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