Bring on AFL 2017!

The AFL season is upon us. There is a lot to look forward to, such as:

The resurrection – finally – of the Essendon Football Club.

Thank every deity you can name, folks, we made it. We bloody made it.

Half a decade after the whole debacle actually took place, the Bombers are once again playing for Premiership points with a full side and without a cloud hanging over their heads.

Despite the very best efforts of the Herald Sun to keep this saga alive, most sane AFL fans will just be happy to either cheer or jeer the Bombers for what’s happening on the MCG instead of the courtroom.

"Dammit! We'll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!" -- Herald Sun Editor

“Dammit! We’ll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!” — Herald Sun Editor

Sure, they’ll be booed and sledged and teased and mocked by some fans and some opponents, and there are serious ongoing issues concerning James Hird, but in practical sporting terms the Club and the League can close the whole damn chapter.

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Phelps or Bolt – Who is the Greater Olympian?

So Usain Bolt has just claimed a third-straight 100m Sprint Gold Medal. He now has 7 Gold Medals, and counting.

But for many, Michael Phelps is the greater Olympian, by virtue of his 23 Gold Medals.

But despite everything you’ve ever been told about mathematics, I’m about to argue that 7 is Greater than 23.

Good Will Hunting is double-checking my calculations.

Good Will Hunting is double-checking my calculations.

Yes, Bolt is Greater than Phelps.

Here’s why:

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Matthew Dellavedova is embarrassing Australia.

Habitual Linestepper

Charlie Murphy said it best.

Whenever I bring up my dislike for Delly’s play style, I’m met with, “quit your sooking and man up! It’s a contact sport.” – “he’s not dirty, he’s just clumsy” or, “he’s Aussie!”

I understand and respect Aussie camaraderie. We are supposed expected to stick by each other no matter what – purely based on the fact that we’re Australian… but I’m sorry, I can’t stand by and blindly support Delly’s blatant disregard for the well-being of other players. He was recently voted as the dirtiest player in the NBA in a poll by his own peers and coaches, no less.  Continue reading

Which World Cup is the Best World Cup?

With only days to go before the 2015 Rugby World Cup, the entire nation of Australia is rallying to support the Wallabies. The streets are being painted Green and Gold, the media coverage is saturation-level, and fans around the nation are obsessively following Twitter for any possible lineup changes or news from the Wallabies camp.

HAHAHAHA Just kidding of course… Hardly anyone cares!

Aaah yes, rugby, the backward passes and the... touchdowns?

Aaah yes, rugby, with the backward passes and the… touchdowns?

Which is a shame, because the Rugby World Cup is awesome.

I would go so far as to say it’s the BEST WORLD CUP IN SPORT!!!

I don’t mean the best literal cup… although it does have curves in all the right places.

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Punting the Punt

In 1993 I bet $1 on Vintage Crop to win the Melbourne Cup. I was in primary school at the time, and was with my Dad as he braved the ridiculous crowds at the local TAB to place a handful of modest bets. A couple of hours later at the Cup Day BBQ, I watched as some horses ran around a track, and afterwards someone told me I’d won about $5. I was thrilled. When it turned out to be $16.20, I was beyond ecstatic. Yes, I still remember the precise amount, more than two decades later.

It remains the highlight of my gambling career.

They based this scene on my reaction.

They based this scene on my reaction.

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Mile Jedinak and the Crazy Pills

Please watch the following 5 second clip from Will Ferrell’s Acadamy Award® winning performance in ‘Zoolander’

Note his expression, tone, and inability to comprehend what’s happening before him.

These are things I can relate to at the moment.

You see, I just saw an article online that ranks the top 100 Australian sportspeople. Mile Jedinak was listed at number 51.

Seriously, am I on freakin’ crazy pills right now?!

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