Exclusive Interview with AFL Rules Committee Member

Mike or The Don has secured a Top-Secret interview with an anonymous member of the AFL’s “Laws of the Game” Committee to discuss the many controversies around recent AFL rule changes.

More contentious than the Australian Constitution

Full Disclosure: He was paid half a Nutella Donut and a small bottle of Sprite for the interview, which may or may not be entirely made up.

To protect his identity, we’ll call him “Barry McRuleFace”


So, Barry McRuleFace, thanks for joining us.

No problem.

So you’ve probably heard the complaints about the rule changes?

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Bring on AFL 2017!

The AFL season is upon us. There is a lot to look forward to, such as:

The resurrection – finally – of the Essendon Football Club.

Thank every deity you can name, folks, we made it. We bloody made it.

Half a decade after the whole debacle actually took place, the Bombers are once again playing for Premiership points with a full side and without a cloud hanging over their heads.

Despite the very best efforts of the Herald Sun to keep this saga alive, most sane AFL fans will just be happy to either cheer or jeer the Bombers for what’s happening on the MCG instead of the courtroom.

"Dammit! We'll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!" -- Herald Sun Editor

“Dammit! We’ll have to do some actual journalistic work if people stop reading our re-re-re-re-printed Essendon Drug Scandal stories!” — Herald Sun Editor

Sure, they’ll be booed and sledged and teased and mocked by some fans and some opponents, and there are serious ongoing issues concerning James Hird, but in practical sporting terms the Club and the League can close the whole damn chapter.

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Brandon Ingram and the curse of the Laker fanbase

You know that feeling you get when you’re talking to someone and they have food stuck to their teeth?

You can’t quite bring yourself to tell them, because you’re just hoping it’s obvious enough they’ll feel it themselves and fix it.

Now imagine it’s happening during a conversation with someone you clash with, someone you’re not friends with. Someone you really, truly dislike.

Part of you is reveling in their stupidity, their obvious lack of awareness, the fact that they look like an idiot… and yet another part of you just wants them to get the damn spinach off your teeth seriously dude how can you not feel that?!

This is how I feel about the Los Angeles Lakers and Brandon Ingram.

AFL Women’s and the Alternate Australia

Amongst the overwhelming support for the opening round of AFL women’s, there were some pretty disappointing (and yet utterly predictable) opinions doing the rounds.

The players were tough-as-nails, but some less-charitable armchair experts chose to focus on the skill errors and low scores as evidence that the concept is doomed.

A more valid opinion? GWS's colours are horrific.

A more valid opinion? GWS’s colours are horrific.

So this is an invitation to those people.

Let’s go on a journey together, to an alternate reality.

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In defense of Nick Kyrgios, again

So Nick Kyrgios lost a tennis match.

Meanwhile, Australia’s sporting public has lost its mind.

Kyrgios lost a strange match against Andreas Seppi in the 2nd round of the Australian Open. After being two sets up, Kyrgios appeared lethargic and disinterested (if you believe the commentary box) while dropping the 3rd and 4th sets… before a rollercoaster 5th set that ended at 10-8 to the Italian.

And Kyrgios was booed off the court.

Let that last part sink in.

A 21-year-old Australian, playing at the Australian Open, who had just lost a five-set match that took over three hours, going 10-8 in the 5th set… was booed off the court?


Are they saying ‘Boo’ or ‘Boo-Urns?’

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The Disgrace of Gijón and the 48-team FIFA World Cup

The Final match of Group 2 of the 1982 FIFA World Cup saw West Germany take on Austria in the city of Gijón, Spain.

Because of a quirk in the World Cup point system, the result of the game meant that…

1-0 or 2-0 to West Germany: Both West Germany and Austria advance to the next stage.

Draw, or Austria win: Austria and another team in their group – Algeria – advance, while West Germany are eliminated.

West Germany win by 3 or more goals: West Germany and Algeria advance. Austria are eliminated.

Carry the two... Yep... It checks out.

Carry the two… Yep… It checks out.

You can see where I’m headed, right?

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The AFL needs a mercy rule

I believe the AFL should implement a “mercy rule” for lopsided games.

When a team is up by 60 points or more at halftime, the game should end.

This might seem drastic, but I think the benefits outweigh the costs… and it could be the solution to “Tanking” that the AFL has desperately searched for!

No dramas, I've got a mate who's a panel beater...

No dramas, I’ve got a mate who’s a panel beater…

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